The Book of Pslams by God & David Javerbaum & Jesus & The Holy Ghost

Author:God & David Javerbaum & Jesus & The Holy Ghost
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 2022-04-12T00:00:00+00:00

PSLAM 58 The Platypus

1 “What were you thinking when you made the platypus?”

2 I get that a lot.

3 Cartoons muse over it; Robin Williams did a stand-up bit about it; the movie Dogma starts with the disclaimer “God has a sense of humor—look at the platypus!”; etc., etc., etc.

4 Apparently, people think the existence of an egg-laying, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed mammal makes Me look like I don’t know what I’m doing.

5 Apparently, the platypus’s odd appearance should fill Me with embarrassment.

6 Yes.

7 Right.

8 That’s the species that was a mistake.

9 That’s the creature that fills Me with embarrassment.

10 That’s the one where I look back and think, Oh, the world would be a better place if only I hadn’t created those… platypuses!

11 Yes, if aliens come in a thousand years and land on the dead, white-hot ruins of Earth, they will examine the evidence and come to the only sane conclusion: that whoever created it really screwed up when He made…… platypuses.

12 What can I say? My bad.

13 Next time I need to create a world, I’ll make sure the duck bills stay on the ducks, the beaver tails on the beavers, and the otter feet on the otters.

14 Next time.

15 Which will be in about two weeks, at the rate you’re going.

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